Final Goodbyes

With my bags zipped up, passports and visa’s tripled checked, physically I’m ready to go and begin my adventures …. But emotionally ? Not in the slightest. 

This week I drove down to Wellington to see my university friends one last time and it was a wonderful, yet very strange time. Strange because I feel so ready and so excited to leave, yet this is occasionally interrupted by small moments of panic and breakdowns as each day in Wellington signalled another goodbye .

Despite the biting cold, rain and the compulsory gusts of wind I had a wonderful time in Wellington, and although some of my friends may never read this I just want to THANK YOU SO MUCH - Anna, Catherine, Zoe, Steph, Nathan, Kieron, Alex, Maria, Grace and anyone else.  I am lucky to people around me who are so understanding about the attraction to spend a semester abroad and who fully support me. 

I really wish I could turn off my emotions and all my fears. On paper what I’m about to do sounds incredible – spending a semester at college in America, frat parties, football games, LA, New York. Logically is should be simple to wave my friends and family goodbye at the airport and begin my adventures … but emotionally it’s not that easy !  I know I’m not the only person to be feeling this way about going abroad and I believe it is perfectly reasonable to be terrified. 

I think it is worth mentioning to prospective exchange students that not everyone understands how you feel right now.  Of course, everyone is excited for you but they aren’t experiencing the niggles of panic, fear and sadness that flutter in and out of your brain in the coming weeks before departure.  It is also very strange to see everyone continue on with everyday life, without you.  It was an odd feeling watching my friends study for tests, write assingments and rush off for lectures when I haven’t even given academic work a single thought for almost two months.  I ( and any exchange student ) just needs to accept the fact that life is going to go one without me and sadly there is a lot I am going to miss out on. 

Right now I’m sitting in the international departures area in Auckland, with a five hour wait ahead of me till my flight to LA.  My granddad dropped me off at Napier airport and after a painless flight to Auckland here I am.  It still doesn’t seem real that I am flying to LA tonight.

So until next time ( from the USA) ….