Charting my emotions

A couple of months ago I showed you this lovely diagram, before blatantly highlighting my own perceived mathematical flaws in it. Numbers cannot chart human emotion ( at least to me anyway).

Even though this graph and I might not see eye to eye on a lot of things, I've decided to keep you guys updated on the chart vs me.

Todays verdict ? I hit the blip in the road called homesickness. Hit may be an understatement, swept away in a tidal wave of emotion and tears may be the more honest, drama-queen truth of it.  There were a couple of days where I just lay in bed after class and thought about everything and everyone at home.  It's weird the things you miss being abroad, like watching the six o'clock news before dinner or driving along Marine Parade on the way home from work.  Little acts I gave no thought to but in those moments wrapped up in my duvet, like the swaddled baby I am I would have given a lot to go back to.

Homesickness is like a see-saw, one minute you're down in that weird brown playground bark wishing you could watch the six o'clock news and next minute tears are streaming down your face as you talk about last weekend with your friends ( like oh my god do you remember when ... ). It absolutely sucks but at the same time you know it's worth feeling a little empty in your chest.

My favourite parts about being a student at Penn State are the moments I share with my friends - devouring bagels together in the hub, chatting incessantly in Starbucks till close and "pretending" to study together.  My classes too keep me going. I love the feeling when your seventy minute politics class passes by in a flash because it was just that interesting ! My friends will tell, I would never ever had said this about classes in Wellington !

Okay well enough of my randomness before I start moving onto another topic like Christmas or The Weekends new album ! Ciao friends.

Election day hangover

I can’t sit here and lie by saying that I was not invested in this election, because I was. I also can’t sit here and write that I was not in some way more invested in one candidate than another. Because I was.   In fact, in some way or another the whole world was invested in this election.

Unless you have been living under a rock, that is a very large rock for the past year you would know that November 8th was Presidential election in the USA. In what has largely been seen as one of the most uninspiring and nastiest elections in recent memory the results came as a huge shock to a large part of the media, the nation and the world as Donald Trump stormed to victory over seasoned politician and former First Lady Hillary Clinton.  

Right from the start I wanted the purpose of this blog to be about college life at Penn State. So rather than relay my own disparaging views of the contest I will try my best to outline my experience of the election, the results and the general feeling amongst students following the result.

So here goes ...

Election day: November 8th 2016

November 8th 2016 dawned bright and sunny for State College and the whole town was bathed under clear blue skies. For the most part of the day the weather reflected the atmosphere on campus – sunny and overwhelmingly positive. Campus was a buzz as queues snaked through the Hub as hordes of students lined up to vote. Hotdogs, candy floss and American flag cookies were given out and a DJ blared music feel good dance tracks.  It felt like one big party on campus and for a few fleeting hours you got the impression, maybe, just maybe people had made the “right” decision and something very good was about to happen.  

In the late afternoon on my way to class I even encountered a parade of Hillary students chanting “I’m with her” and “stronger together”.

As the evening set in and the rain fell in State College you could feel the tension heightening. I went to watch the action unfold at an election party put on by the Penn State Political Science department.  The American flag cupcakes, crisps, popcorn and Pepsi provided by the department were much appreciated as we all knew this was going to be a long and anxious night.  As we munched on food and settled in to watch the first states declare the department kept us entertained with a sweepstake of which candidates would take which swing states, the popular vote percentage and our predictions for the outcome of state senate and local district races.

As the first states declared their results the room was alive with positivity.Clinton was set to win in Vermont, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey and Rhode Island, whilst Trump had predictably won in Kentucky and West Virginia.  It was looking like a good night for this heavily Democrat leaning crowd.

However, the first audible groans from the crowd were heard about 9pm as the incoming results for Ohio made it clear that Trump looked set to take that state – a state in which every President since Lynden Johnson in 1964 has won and consequently gone on to win the Presidential election.  Not soon afterwards people shook their heads as the results from Florida were became too close to call, even after 95% of the vote had been counted. Florida was important because of the large numbers of electoral college seats up for grabs in the state. - without gaining Florida’s seats it was going to be a difficult task for either candidate to gain enough elsewhere to win.  From that point on the viewing party began to empty out and there was a distinct sense of morose as people slouched in chairs, laptops and phones in hand staring wide eyed in disbelief as the results continued to roll in.  

Just as we thought things couldn’t get any worse, results began to flash on the screen that the race in Pennsylvania was too close to call, with Trump leading by a small majority.  At the time I wrote in my phone “I am terrified … I can’t believe Pennsylvania might go to the Republicans”. Pennsylvania, though traditionally a swing state in Presidential elections has been won by the Democrat party in every election since 1992. Unlike most rural areas in Pennsylvania Centre County - the district State College is in voted overwhelmingly for the Democrats, although I suspect this has something to do with the student population and not the ideologies of the locals !

It was becoming increasingly clear at this point that Clinton needed to win Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Nevada and Michigan in order to gain enough electoral college seats as Trump continued to win traditional Republican states.

At 11.59am I wrote down a quote from CNN summing up the sentiment at the time - “ It’s starting to feel like a victory party down here at Trump headquarters”. In stark contrast to the Trump HQ the Penn State gathering watched on shocked, bewildered and disappointed.  It was cold and we sat on the floor drinking tea as rain fell outside, perhaps symbolic of how everybody felt – rock bottom.  

Source: Politco

By almost 2am it was very clear this was the end of the road for Clinton.  Pennsylvania looked to have to gone to Trump and so had the other key states – Wisconsin and Michigan.  I must admit at this point I went to sleep, rather than watch Trump’s victory speech and see firsthand Hillary concede.

The Hangover

So how does everyone feel the day after these shocking results?

Disappointed, glum, shocked, bewildered and everything else in between.  Although I can’t testify for all students at Penn State and am certainly swayed by my own glum feelings, this is the sense I got from my American history class this morning.  Our Professor asked for the classes thoughts on the election and rather than answer everyone just stared down at their desks unwilling to respond.  I think everyone is drained from the long night and shocked waking up to their country which will soon call Donald Trump it’s president.  

I realize this post has gone on slightly more than my other posts. Whilst I am disappointed with the result to have the experience of witnessing arguably one of the biggest moments in American political history is surreal.

 This is something myself, Americans and anyone else living abroad in America is going to remember for the rest of their lives.

Prison visits and sneaking onto tours

Sorry Mum if the title makes me sound like a bit of a felon ... I can assure you we did nothing illegal, the one thing we did do however was have another incredible 48 hours in Philadelphia.  

I loved Philadelphia so much the first time I just had to go back ! So this past weekend myself and three of my friends - Anna, Bernie and Abby from Penn State spent a whirlwind 48 hours in Philly.

The main reason of our trip was to watch the Kellogs gymnastics tour on the Friday evening.  Now, I know many people at home would like to point out here that I am neither a gymnast, nor  much of a gymnastics fan but I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to watch the US Olympic gymnastics team perform, including Simone Biles (as well as go back to Philly).  The show was definitely directed more at children and families and was so very American and at one point there a video montage pictured of all the athletes reciting the Star Spangled Banner . However the gymnastics was amazing and Simone Biles is absolutely tiny, but absolutely incredible.

The following day we woke up at 5am to drop two of our friends Abby and Bernie at the airport ( as they were flying to Chicago to watch the All Blacks play Ireland).  Exhausted - considering we didn’t go to bed until after midnight Anna and I paid for day parking and then slept in the car until 8.45. 

The first stop on our whirlwind tour ( post car park sleep) was to visit the Eastern State Penitentiary.  Now, visiting a prison is not normally the sort of thing I’m interested in but the prison tour at Eastern State was actually really interesting ! The prison was built in 1829 and closed in 1971 and was the first of its kind in emphasizing reform based on Quaker principles rather than on punishment. In the early days prisoners were kept in complete solitude from other prisoners for the entirety of their stay in the belief that silence would rehabilitate their principles and return them to their inherently good natures. Personally I can’t imagine anything worse than being left alone for so long !  However, the result of such solitude was that many prisoners went insane. Additionally as time went on it became impractical and too expensive for all prisoners to be held in complete isolation. 

As part of the tour we got to see most of the cell blocks, Al Capone's lavishly decorated cell, punishment blocks and death row.

Al Capone's Cell

Two story cellblock

The tour also included an exhibition about the rise in the number of prisoners in US prisons. The US imprisons more people per population then any other nation in the world and this number has dramatically increased since the 1970s.  I was also surprised to discover at the exhibition that New Zealand imprisons more people per 100,000 than Australia and the United Kingdom. Given that New Zealand tends to be quite liberal and has relatively low crime rates I was surprised we surpassed countries which we tend match politically on most issues. 

After the Penitentiary we made our way back into the centre of Philly where we visited the Liberty Bell centre ( which I hadn’t done last time) and Independence Hall. Anna and I somehow ended up going on a tour of Independence Hall despite
 a. not having bought tickets

b. the fact that all the tickets had sold out at 11.30am that day ( and it was now 4pm)

 We somehow had managed to do this by queuing to enter the Independence Hall complex and then accidentally followed a group in inside and all of a sudden we were sitting in a room being given the instructions of how the tour would proceed.  On the tour we saw Pennsylvania State courtroom from the 1790’s and Independence Hall in which both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were debated by the founders. Unfortunately because we were on the last tour of the day we didn’t get to go upstairs and into the bell tower where the liberty bell itself used to reside. However, it was still an incredible opportunity to be standing metres away from the very chair in which George Washington led the proceedings for the writing the Constitution and to be in the same room in which the declaration of independence was debated.  As our tour guide put it “ we are standing in the very room in which the United States was created” .

The Liberty Bell and me !

The very room in which the US was created

Outside the Benjamin Franklin Institute

Once again, I had wonderful weekend in what is fast becoming one of my favourite cities in America.